Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
