I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Farmville is her only friend.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
