this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
