Welp...herpes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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