so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
