Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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