I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
