What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
