pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
