I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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