He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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