Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
