Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
