we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
