so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
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Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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