i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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