is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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