I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
