I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize