her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
