she was so not down for the gang bang
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
