Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
