Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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