love makes seman taste better
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
