i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
