..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
