The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
