we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
