Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
