there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize