I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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