Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
