This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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