I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
