My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
