That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize