break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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