I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
