I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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