Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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