Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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