he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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