maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
