I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
