I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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