I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
