why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize