can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
