no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
