So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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