omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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