I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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