4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
