I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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