So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
