I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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