You're my little dorito
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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