school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
