Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
