i wish my penis had a tongue
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
