I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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