I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Vodka?
Forever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
