We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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