Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I AM VODKA MAN
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
