Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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